Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize