yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
