I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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