UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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