We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
