and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Couch. On fire.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
