Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
