By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
