the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
