Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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