Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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