You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
