Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
