im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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