mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
