I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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