The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
