Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
