So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
