So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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