I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
