Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
