Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
