I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
