Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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