All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
