I CAN MOONWALK!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
