Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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