we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Houston, we have a blender
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
