i just had sex bonerless
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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