Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
