I wanna bring you to show and tell
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
