and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
