Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize