and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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