I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
