omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
