It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
