Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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