Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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