dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
