so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
