Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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