Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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