That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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