It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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