I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
