I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
