on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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