...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
