What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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