seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
