dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
