and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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