Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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