She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
