Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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