I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize