Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
