Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
