Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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