Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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