Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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