My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
