its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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