Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
