She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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