Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
