Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
