Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
